Mortal Kombat's Greatest Beards
Back in 1992, Midway assaulted arcades with a video game that changed the entire industry forever: Mortal Kombat. Since then, we’ve seen no less than ten sequels to this popular fighting franchise, with Mortal Kombat 11 arriving in just a few days. Plenty of bearded warriors have taken part in the Mortal Kombat tournaments through the years. Let’s take a look and celebrate the best of them.
Kano
The Black Dragon assassin knows how to use a knife... and we’ll bet that’s how he’s crafted that magnificent mane he’s sporting in MK11. From the massive sideburns to the hint of a soul patch, this is a masterpiece of a beard.
RATING: 5 out of 5 Beards
Scorpion
When he’s not rocking a skull for a face, Scorpion (aka Hanzo Hasashi) rocks a short boxed beard worthy of the iconic character. We’re glad he removed his ninja mask in Mortal Kombat X so we could witness it with our own eyes.
RATING: 4 out of 5 Beards
Sub-Zero
Another ninja who has discarded his cowl, Sub-Zero (aka Kuai Liang) wears a majestic, full-faced beard that is a thing of stone-cold beauty. Given Sub-Zero’s preference for the cold, though, we’d recommend he equip himself with a little Sandalwood Oil to nourish and prepare his beard for the field of battle by giving it a silky smoothness that opponents can admire... as he rips their heads off. Fatality!
RATING: 4 out of 5 Beards
Shang Tsung
Shang Tsung’s long-awaited return to the arena in Mortal Kombat 11 brings us two wonderful things: Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa’s return to the role after playing him in the 1995 live action film, and a Fu Manchu beard that could steal our soul any day. A Beard Comb from our collection would keep that thing straight as an arrow.
RATING: 3 out of 5 Beards
Meat
Meat, unfortunately, does not have a beard. In fact, he doesn’t have any hair at all. Come to think of it, Meat here is missing a lot of important features, not least of which being his skin. All the Beard Growth Oil in Earthrealm could put a mane on… whatever that is.
RATING: 0 out of 5 Beards
Bo’ Rai Cho
This master of the Drunken Fist maintains a surprisingly tight beard for a guy who gets drunk and fights all the time. It’s a boxed beard with some impressive body; perhaps he’s thrown some of our Beard Growth Vitamins into his jug to get that kind of length.
RATING: 3 out of 5 Beards
Shujinko
Take the Shang Tsung beard above, hit it with copious amounts of our Growth Vitamin Spray and Growth Oil, and you’ll end up with the hero of 2004’s Mortal Kombat Deception. We haven’t seen Shujinko since the franchise rebooted back in 2011, but maybe we’ll get to see that snow-white beard of his again soon.
RATING: 4 out of 5 Beards
Sektor
Sektor can sometimes be seen as a cybernetic ninja assassin, but before he went full robot, Sektor sported a solid box beard. It looks like it could use a little Beard Cream to bring a little life into it though… or could have, anyway. You know. Before he became a robot.
RATING: 2 out of 5 Beards
Goro
Goro, the iconic four-armed sub-boss of the first Mortal Kombat, does not have any beard to speak of. He does have four arms however, which not only is awesome but also means he’d have no trouble growing one using one of our beard growth kits to promote the growth of some whiskers. The product is easy enough to apply with two hands—with four, it would be a breeze.
RATING: 0 out of 5 Beards
Jax Briggs
Jax has been tearing through the Mortal Kombat tournament since MKII, but his newest iteration dons one of the best video game beards we’ve ever seen. The neatly trimmed goatee flows right into the kind of dense, bushy mane that many men can only dream about. We can’t wait to smash some skulls with this bearded battler in MK11.
RATING: 5 out of 5 Beards
